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Lost Years

I'm going to jump ahead years. My life had so many ups and downs. I will finally tell you when my faith came back. I was dating a nice guy, my daughter was a senior in high school, and my son was at a tech college. I didn't approve of my daughters boyfriend at all. I knew his mom and dad from back in the day and they were and still are terrible people. I voiced my opinion to my daughter but she didn't listen. Do they ever? I thought she would dump his ass when she went to college. She was accepted to Penn State Beaver. Finally we'd be rid of him. Nope. She got pregnant. That's ok. I love my daughter so much it didn't matter. I was sad for her for a brief moment since she wouldn't be going to Penn State anymore. I still had my daughter and I'd be a grammy so it wasn't the end of the world. A child is always a blessing. Not to go to deep into her story as it is her story and hers to tell but he was an abusive addict that was able to control her and get her and my grandson away from the family. I lost my daughter and grandson? Oh no - that can't happen. I'm actually getting teary eyed typing this because the feeling of lost was so strong. I love my kids. I'm far from perfect. I've made mistakes. I didn't do anything to of lost my kids. I would text her once a week. No response. I did the only thing I knew to do. The only thing that could fix this. I got on my hands and knees and started crying and praying. I needed restoration of my family. I knew her boyfriend was bad. I couldn't do anything personally. He had her under such a control if I tried he'd flip it and make me out to be the bad person. So every day. Several times a day I prayed. Told God I was sorry for blaming him and being mad at him. Nothing happened right away but almost a year later she texted back. As a mom I can't tell you how my heart was overwhelmed with joy and tears poured down my face. We met at a church carnival. It was strange at first. I was nervous. Felt like I was walking on egg shells because I didn't want to lose her and my grandson again. I already lost almost a whole year. It was a wonderful time. I think at that time that is where I realized I needed God in my life. That the stuff that happened to me wasn't Gods fault but mine. God gave me free will and I used it. Whether it was the right way or the wrong way. I can only imagine what God protected me from in my choices that I don't know about. Lessons were learned the hard way but they were learned.

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