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Not Alone

The week started out good. We had snow days at work and the big plus is my son was texting me for 4 days straight. He's actually still texting me now. He said I love you and I haven't heard that from in 5+ years. So even though I have the lump on my breast the week started out good. Unfortunately it didn't stay that way. They pushed my boyfriends court date up and it was yesterday. We did get the felony charge of possession drop to a misdemeanor, as he is an addict. However, we lost the big case. They revoked everything and sentenced him to 3-10 years in state prison. The 10 months he already has in does count. He is also eligible for the state drug program. The program is in 4 stages and the first 2 stages is behind bars.

The earliest he would get to go home would be 1.5 years. When he gets home he will be on parole for I don't know how long. Honestly I went numb hearing the judge sentence him. He will have an ankle bracelet on for a year when he gets back. So here I am. What do I do? Do I stay with him? Do I keep the company going? I don't know. I cried all night and barely slept but here I am at work. I dragged myself here because I need to talk to the guys and going to work is what's right and what I believe God would want me to do. This is going to be dealt with on a day to day basis. I'm not sure what the next step is. I don't know what God's plan or will is for me. Until I know I guess I will just keep showing up.

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This is such a difficult situation to be in. Only you can decide what you feel about him in terms of sticking it out or not. Praying that the lump turns out to not be serious. I’m sure you know that regardless of what decisions you make, you’re going to have to make some time to take care of you.

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