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This blog is going to be different.. a little. I'm having a hard time forgetting what my boyfriend said to me last week. I forgive him for 2 reasons. 1 because Jesus forgave me and 2 not forgiving him would hurt me more. I'm just having a hard time letting go of the hurt. I still randomly cry and I don't trust anything he says or does. I can't just sit down for the day and talk to someone, even though I know my bestie would , because I feel like a burden. I chose this. My intentions were good but I chose this. I need huge healing. I feel broken, weak and pathetic. My words when I was talking to a friend was " I thought I was stronger than this".
He had truths and comforting words but it only helped at that moment. I am so tired emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I was watching TD Jakes this morning while I was getting ready for work and the topic was Insight. This was important to me because it was about the famous question " What does God want from me". It's funny we always say that when we are in a situation and our prayers aren't answered and we look up at the ceiling and scream God, what do you want from me. I've done it a lot lately. It got me to thinking about being born again and renewing of the mind. I'm born again. I love Jesus and he is my personal Lord and savior and Jesus + nothing is enough. That's the truth. Than we go to the bible where he makes his promises to us. For Jesus was made weak so we can be strong, poor so we can be rich ( doesn't mean just financially either). So I sat there wondering if my mind is really renewed. Do my thoughts line up with the word of God? Most of the time no they don't. That shocked me. I'm letting my boyfriend and the terribly sad situation I'm in consume me.That can't happen and I have to stop that now. I need me. I need self care. I need Jesus. Starting today I researched renewing of the mind. How I can beat the spiritual battle in my mind and visualize God's promises so they manifest in my life. It's time. I will blog about other things but I want to start a conversation on here about renewing your mind and our relationship with Jesus ( not religion). Today I'm going to visualize my life. Speaking the life I want into existence. The life I deserve. The life God wants me to have. Remember God spoke and than it appeared. God spoke....than it appeared....