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I don't even know anymore. Yes I am blessed. My goodness though. It's amazing how generation gap can sometimes divide people in the way we talk. I was at work and my friend/employee , so I thought on friend, was having a bad day. He's 21 and from Jamaica. He was done with a job and I asked him if he wanted an early day or do a service job? He said Miss Mary I go home, not right in my head. So I said ok go get some mental health. He took that offensive that I was calling him crazy and to go get help. He started texting me how I hurt him and I had no idea what he was talking about. I called and he ignored it and I told him we should talk about it but I'm not going to do texting bs..I wanna talk to you. I haven't talked to him in a week. Everyone I know ( age 30 & up ) have mental health days. Days they just go home, relax and recharge. That's what I meant. I wasn't calling him crazy. I'm a pretty forward person so I definitely would of just came out and said it if that's what I really meant. After 2 years he should know that. He's telling everyone how I was mean and he don't like me now and he don't know if he's going to quit or not. I'm just sitting here like I guess my first mistake was thinking I gained a friend. I don't know. Deep down I wish he'd talk to me but he won't. He's stubborn. I don't know what to do. I guess nothing. The ball is in his court even though I do feel bad. My boyfriend , in jail , is asking me to text his lawyer. I'm not wasting money. The lawyer literally can't do anything until the drug & alcohol evaluation is done. The truth is they don't care. He's been sitting in there for 9.5 weeks. They are not going to rush for him. So much pressure from work and home. There's times I wonder if it's all worth it. My boyfriend keeps telling me never again and that he loves me and is going to take care of me forever. I don't know. In my feelings bad today. Should I believe it? I don't know. I just keep praying and trying to be positive and keep my faith. I just can't quit now. Got to hold on and see what happens.

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