A New Week

All I can do is laugh. The start of another week. Another week of not knowing what's going to happen. As I sit at work listening to scriptures to keep me strong I just can't help but think how much more I'm going to take. I am at peace. It's a strange peace. I know this peace had to come from Jesus. There is no other answer. As unsure I am in my life I'm at peace. Last night I sat on the couch looking at houses to buy.

The drugs and negativity is sooooooooo overwhelming. Who at my age would want to put up with this crap. It's not that I stopped caring or loving him. It's that at some point I have to pick me and love me more. I understand that addicts are selfish and try to manipulate and control but with all that the constant negativity is disgusting. I think what I'm waiting for is maybe a sign. For God to say now. Now is the right time to leave. Maybe deep down I'm still hoping he gets his head out of his butt and does right. I don't know yet. I live one day at a time - waiting, praying and hoping and believing for a happy ending one way or another.