Last week was one heck of a week. My boyfriend is being very dramatic. I understand he's in jail for violating his probation with drugs but I don't feel bad for him. I did everything I could to help him. The addiction was stronger and now as it always has been is up to him to chose sobriety. He's not built for jail and the not knowing is driving him nuts. He'll be in there for 3 months at the end of June with no answers and no charges other than violation of probation. He's just talking about anxiety too much. I don't know if he's trying to get pity or think it will speed up the process but it's a little annoying. I told him what I was doing at the house and he was like you might as well move all my stuff downstairs cuz I don't know when I'm coming home.
I told him to stop acting like Scarlett O'Hara and that if he is going to be gone longer than a year than I'm closing up the business because I can't handle this stress and it's not fair. He was like ok ok stop. I told him he had to stop and what he needs to be doing is focusing on is rewiring his mind to stay sober. It's very hard for me to take care of his business and his house and still be positive and willing to do it if he's always depressed and miserable when I talk to him. It's getting to the point that even though I love him I don't want to talk to him if he's going to be bummy. How much can 1 person take seriously? I have no desire to do anything. I procrastinate a lot lately. I just go to work and come home. That's not me and it's starting to piss me off. I started to talk to myself and tell myself to live and stop dwelling on stuff that is out of my control. I have God, my family & friends. I depend on God daily - all the time. I think if I just keep my eyes on the cross - Jesus I'll be fine. The song Praise You In The Storm by Casting Crowns feels like its my song. If you get a chance listen to it. It may speak to all of us at least at one point in our life.