Anxious

My friends came over Friday to hang out with me. OMG we ate and laughed . It was a good night. I am so blessed to have my family and friends. They are very dear to me. My daughter and I did the " Bigger than Pink " breast cancer walk this past Sunday. It was nice but at the same time it made my situation very real. I think I kept it suppressed. A fake denial almost if that makes sense. I know I have it and I'm getting surgery but at the same time I'm not dwelling on it...at least until now. I got all my information ready for surgery tomorrow. Work is almost ready for me to be out for 2 weeks. I will be working from home the 1 week though. I don't have to be at the hospital until 12 noon. Surgery is scheduled for 2:15pm. I'm not happy about this. I was hoping I could go in early and get it over with. Doesn't look like that's going to happen.

I hope I don't dwell on it all morning. Also, I'm a little nervous because I'm very sensitive to anesthesia. Last time they had to admit me because I took too long to wake up. Best sleep but I really want to go home. I want to start the healing process physically & emotionally. I don't think I can start healing mentally until I talk to me oncologist on June 6th. I am soooooooooooo counting on God to get me through this. I need him in surgery with me. I know he will be. My parents are going to stay with me Wednesday - Friday and my daughter and grandson are staying with me Saturday. I should be ok to do somethings myself by than. Pretty sure my parents will do " drive bys " to check in on me. I am getting really emotional about all this. Cancer just doesn't run in my family. I don't know. I just have to trust God. Everything will be fine and you will be getting a new blog Thursday or Friday to let you know how it went and how I am doing. Until then keep me in your prayers please.