I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter. I was spiritually attacked this weekend. Depression of the situation I'm in took over and even though I did spend time with my family Sunday inside I was dying. Saturday it started as I sat at home alone. Me and my thoughts. It didn't help that it was cold, gloomy and rainy. I had my Christian music on but satans attacks were fierce. I'd have thoughts pop in my head like , you should die, you can't handle this, just die - who do you think you are. I cried and fought these ugly ugly thoughts with God's words. I have never been attacked this hard spiritually. The thoughts are gone but the worry is not.
All I wanted to do was scream. I am so overwhelmed. Really it's only work that is overwhelming me. Our lawyer called Monday and said it's going to be a fight. The PO wants to send him to state prison for 3-5 years. Why? He's an addict. He was at home. He's not a violent criminal. I have no idea how I could run this company for that long or even if I want to. Our lawyer said he can stop him from going to state but they are going to make him sit at county for awhile. The longest is 2 years. I have no salesman. I have the best employees but I have to promote someone to part time sales, have him learn online how to sell, talk to my boyfriend from the jail for help to get jobs. I understand why God didn't provide the exit for me like I prayed for. God knew this was going to happen. God knew my boyfriend would turn his life over to Jesus. God knew. I didn't. Now I have to trust the work situation to God. God has never failed me. As I work on my depression and being overwhelmed I have to remember God saw this, God knew this would happen and it's in God's hands. God's never early but never late. What a testimony this is going to be. I am victorious because Jesus loves me and I am the righteousness of God!